belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
