YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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