JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
