South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
