She's JV to your varsity
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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