O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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