Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
