Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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