I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
