My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
