Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize