And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
