so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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