SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
