What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I did not marry a roomba.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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