Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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