ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
