butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
