Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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