having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
