Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
