do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
