Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
