are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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