need another drink. this is the easiest way
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
