Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
