yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
