apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He passed out mid-signature
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
