Too much gin, very little bucket
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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