What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
