Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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