Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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