so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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