Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
