She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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