he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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