Sacagawea was the original milf.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
