god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
