Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
