This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
