You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
