she was so not down for the gang bang
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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