All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
