I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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