this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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