It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
