Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
