I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
