Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
