Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
