SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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