i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
