Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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