as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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