Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
