You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
