I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
