just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
