he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
