I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
