Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
