Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
