Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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